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The Missing Link of Ignorance
Our anonymous submitter, whom we'll call Craig, worked for GlobalCon. GlobalCon relied on an offshore team on the other side of the world for adding/removing users from the system, support calls, ticket tracking, and other client services. One day at work, an urgent escalated ticket from Martin, the offshore support team lead, fell into Craig's queue. Seated before his cubicle workstation, Craig opened the ticket right away:
The new GlobalCon support website is not working. Appears to have been taken over by ChatGPT. The entire support team is blocked by this.
Instead of feeling any sense of urgency, Craig snorted out loud from perverse amusement.
"What was that now?" The voice of Nellie, his coworker, wafted over the cubicle wall that separated them.
"Urgent ticket from the offshore team," Craig replied.
"What is it this time?" Nellie couldn't suppress her glee.
"They're dead in the water because the new support page was, quote, taken over by ChatGPT."
Nellie laughed out loud.
"Hey! I know humor is important to surviving this job." A level, more mature voice piped up behind Craig from the cube across from his. It belonged to Dana, his manager. "But it really is urgent if they're all blocked. Do your best to help, escalate to me if you get stuck."
"OK, thanks. I got this," Craig assured her.
He was already 99.999% certain that no part of their web domain had gone down or been conquered by a belligerent AI, or else he would've heard of it by now. To make sure, Craig opened support.globalcon.com in a browser tab: sure enough, it worked. Martin had supplied no further detail, no logs or screenshots or videos, and no steps to reproduce, which was sadly typical of most of these escalations. At a loss, Craig took a screenshot of the webpage, opened the ticket, and posted the following: Everything's fine on this end. If it's still not working for you, let's do a screenshare.
Granted, a screensharing session was less than ideal given the 12-hour time difference. Craig hoped that whatever nefarious shenanigans ChatGPT had allegedly committed were resolved by now.
The next day, Craig received an update. Still not working. The entire team is still blocked. We're too busy to do a screenshare, please resolve ASAP.
Craig checked the website again with both laptop and phone. He had other people visit the website for him, trying different operating systems and web browsers. Every combination worked. Two things mystified him: how was the entire offshore team having this issue, and how were they "too busy" for anything if they were all dead in the water? At a loss, Craig attached an updated screenshot to the ticket and typed out the best CYA response he could muster. The new support website is up and has never experienced any issues. With no further proof or steps to reproduce this, I don't know what to tell you. I think a screensharing session would be the best thing at this point.
The next day, Martin parroted his last message almost word for word, except this time he assented to a screensharing session, suggesting the next morning for himself.
It was deep into the evening when Craig set up his work laptop on his kitchen counter and started a call and session for Martin to join. "OK. Can you show me what you guys are trying to do?"
To his surprise, he watched Martin open up Microsoft Teams first thing. From there, Martin accessed a chat to the entire offshore support team from the CPO of GlobalCon. The message proudly introduced the new support website and outlined the steps for accessing it. One of those steps was to visit support.globalcon.com.
The web address was rendered as blue outlined text, a hyperlink. Craig observed Martin clicking the link. A web browser opened up. Lo and behold, the page that finally appeared was www.chatgpt.com.
Craig blinked with surprise. "Hang on! I'm gonna take over for a second."
Upon taking control of the session, Craig switched back to Teams and accessed the link's details. The link text was correct, but the link destination was ChatGPT. It seemed like a copy/paste error that the CPO had tried to fix, not realizing that they'd needed to do more than simply update the link text.
"This looks like a bad link," Craig said. "It got sent to your entire team. And all of you have been trying to access the support site with this link?"
"Correct," Martin replied.
Craig was glad he couldn't be seen frowning and shaking his head. "Lemme show you what I've been doing. Then you can show everyone else, OK?"
After surrendering control of the session, Craig patiently walked Martin through the steps of opening a web browser, typing support.globalcon.com into the header, and hitting Return. The site opened without any issue. From there, Craig taught Martin how to create a bookmark for it.
"Just click on that from now on, and it'll always take you to the right place," Craig said. "In the future, before you click on any hyperlink, make sure you hover your mouse over it to see where it actually goes. Links can be labeled one thing when they actually take you somewhere else. That's how phishing works."
"Oh," Martin said. "Thanks!"
The call ended on a positive note, but left Craig marveling at the irony of lecturing the tech support lead on Internet 101 in the dead of night.
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Classic WTF: Superhero Wanted
A curious email arrived in Phil's Inbox. "Windows Support Engineer required. Must have experience of the following:" and then a long list of Microsoft products.
Phil frowned. The location was convenient; the salary was fine, just the list of software seemed somewhat intimidating. Nevertheless, he replied to the agency saying that he was interested in applying for the position.
A few days later, Phil met Jason, the guy from the recruitment agency, in a hotel foyer. "It's a young, dynamic company", the recruiter explained,"They're growing really fast. They've got tons of funding and their BI Analysis Suite is positioning them to be a leading player in their field."
Phil nodded. "Ummm, I'm a bit worried about this list of products", referring to the job description. "I've never dealt with Microsoft Proxy Server 1.0, and I haven't dealt with Windows 95 OSR2 for a long while."
"Don't worry," Jason assured, "The Director is more an idea man. He just made a list of everything he's ever heard of. You'll just be supporting Windows Server 2003 and their flagship application."
Phil winced. He was a vanilla network administrator – supporting a custom app wasn't quite what he was looking for, but he desperately wanted to get out of his current job.
A few days later, Phil arrived for his interview. The company had rented smart offices on a new business park on the edge of town. He was ushered into the conference room, where he was joined by The Director and The Manager.
"So", said The Manager. "You've seen our brochure?"
"Yeah", said Phil, glancing at the glossy brochure in front of him with bright, Barbie-pink lettering all over it.
"You've seen a demo version of our application – what do you think?"
"Well, I think that it's great!", said Phil. He'd done his research – there were over 115 companies offering something very similar, and theirs wasn't anything special. "I particularly like the icons."
"Wonderful!" The Director cheered while firing up PowerPoint. "These are our servers. We rent some rack space in a data center 100 miles away." Phil looked at the projected picture. It showed a rack of a dozen servers.
"They certainly look nice." said Phil. They did look nice – brand new with green lights.
"Now, we also rent space in another data center on the other side of the country," The Manager added.
"This one is in a former cold-war bunker!" he said proudly. "It's very secure!" Phil looked up at another photo of some more servers.
"What we want the successful applicant to do is to take care of the servers on a day to day basis, but we also need to move those servers to the other data center", said The Director. "Without any interruption of service."
"Also, we need someone to set up the IT for the entire office. You know, email, file & print, internet access – that kind of thing. We've got a dozen salespeople starting next week, they'll all need email."
"And we need it to be secure."
"And we need it to be documented."
Phil was scribbled notes as best he could while the interviewing duo tag teamed him with questions.
"You'll also provide second line support to end users of the application."
"And day-to-day IT support to our own staff. Any questions?"
Phil looked up. "Ah… which back-end database does the application use?" he asked, expecting the answer would be SQL Server or perhaps Oracle, but The Director's reply surprised him.
"Oh, we wrote our own database from scratch. Martin wrote it." Phil realized his mouth was open, and shut it. The Director saw his expression, and explained. "You see, off the shelf databases have several disadvantages – the data gets fragmented, they're not quick enough, and so on. But don't have to worry about that – Martin takes care of the database. Do you have any more questions?"
Phil frowned. "So, to summarize: you want a data center guy to take care of your servers. You want someone to migrate the application from one data center to another, without any outage. You want a network administrator to set up, document and maintain an entire network from scratch. You want someone to provide internal support to the staff. And you want a second line support person to support the our flagship application."
"Exactly", beamed The Director paternally. "We want one person who can do all those things. Can you do that?"
Phil took a deep breath. "I don't know," he replied, and that was the honest answer.
"Right", The Manager said. "Well, if you have any questions, just give either of us a call, okay?"
Moments later, Phil was standing outside, clutching the garish brochure with the pink letters. His head was spinning. Could he do all that stuff? Did he want to? Was Martin a genius or a madman to reinvent the wheel with the celebrated database?
In the end, Phil was not offered the job and decided it might be best to stick it out at his old job for a while longer. After all, compared to Martin, maybe his job wasn't so bad after all.
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